I Want to Crochet a Prorator

Last night my corp caught a pilot who has developed a habit of farming the plexes in Intaki. It’s not the first time this guy’s found himself in our crosshairs; probably won’t be the last, if his unchanging behavior is anything to judge by. I was in station when his ship exploded, but afterward the pod failed to warp away from the wreck, so I undocked. Just before I could get into range in the plex, the pilot decided to try logging off as a means of escape. The log off timer meant there was time to probe him out, and a few moments later I had a fresh corpsicle to add to my private collection.

“You’ve been official executioner for a little while now,” Daniel quipped at me in Corp. It’s true; I have a bit of sec status to spare, whereas others in ILF who PVP more regularly (like Daniel, who killed the farmer initially and then probed him out for me) don’t, so if I happen to be around when they’re doing their thing, it’s not as inconvenient for me to shoot pods as it is for them. We still get a second kill report to put on the board, and I get to be a bit useful.

After that, I docked up and waited out my criminal flag by perusing skills I might want to stick into what was, at that moment, an almost empty skill queue. In the end I determined I needed some books that weren’t available at the CAS station in Agoze, so got ready by swapping to my Prorator. While spinning it, I was hit with a powerful urge to crochet one.

In the end, since I only needed a few books I decided taking the Prorator out was overkill so did my shopping in a different hull. But, as I jumped between systems, that sudden desire to make a cuddly, plush EVE ship didn’t go away. I found myself looking over at the ship models on display in my living room (an Apoc, a Navy Apoc, a Megathron, and the Rifter USB hub) and once again felt a familiar :sadface: that EVE ship models are not readily available. (I’d kill for one of those floating Nyx models, but the price…ouch.)

My brain said, Make your own. Um, not that I don’t already have enough to do or anything, but okay, let’s potentially add something else to the pile, sure. I know some players are clever enough to know how to 3D print certain ships, but as I chatted away with Daniel and Bataav in Corp about kill rights and just how ridiculous a ship Daniel could come up with to shoot that farmer with next time (because of course he returned to Intaki again within about forty-five minutes), my brain began chewing on just how exactly I might be able to crochet a Prorator (or a Sigil, as the case may be).

There are no amigurumi crochet patterns for EVE ships that I know of. (But if you Google crochet eve online ship some of the image results are my Pod Pals and the TESTosaurus-Rex which is very squee!) Anyway, not having any patterns already available is hopefully not an issue. I’m fairly certain I could make do without. It should just come down to geometry. For example:

Side view of a Prorator.

Side view of a Prorator.

With the magic of Photoshop, the ship can be broken down into very simple shapes:

Blocked out into simple shapes.

Blocked out into simple shapes.

A Prorator is essentially a teardrop with some gobbledygook jammed up on its otherwise flat underside. The big trick would be getting the increases and decreases correct across the primary section of hull so the teardrop ends up with the correct shape.

If I actually tried this, there are two techniques I’d probably use: a foundation chain to ensure the pattern starts as an oval (rather than as a circle), and then chains strategically placed across the bottom to build directly on to (rather than crocheting the primary hull section shut and sewing separate pieces on afterward, as that would probably result in the bottom of the ship being rounded instead of flat). Once the overall pattern is worked out, it would hopefully be simple enough to determine where to change colors to seamlessly integrate the big gold hull plates, while finer details could be put on with surface slip-stitch.

That little dangly bit toward the front that I didn’t block out? That could be added on afterward too. A chain with a couple of extra stitches in the middle would probably do well enough.

What say you? Cuddly, plush EVE ships FTW?